You may have noticed I didn't list that we had a cat. Well that's because we don't. But that doesn't mean we won't line up to babysit one - especially a small one! Because of the number of animals that come and go in our house, from class frogs to class birds (may she rest in peace - and I swear the dogs didn't do it!), we have what you would call very nonchalant dogs. Now I wouldn't put the either dog in an enclosed space with any of the rodents and just walk away but I can attest that when the guinea pigs are out they just come over and sniff them. The same is true of the hamsters, and I really think that the smaller of the two dogs is actually afraid of the hamsters.
So when a good friend called and asked if we could babysit her 5 month old kitten for a week we said we'd love to - because we really would! Obviously we have a thing for animals here. We are now on Day 4 out of 7 with the kitten and she gets crazier and crazier with each passing day. The first day she just hung out in the bathroom. The second day she ventured out but spent most of the day hiding behind the desk and entertainment center. The large, old, deaf dog seemed to be her main nemesis, despite the fact that the small, young dog was more interested in her. By day 3 she really came out of her shell and began to school me in what it is to own a cat.
You see, cats aren't shy about asking for affection. And I've come to understand that it's not always attention they want when they leap from out of nowhere onto your laptop and accidentally post jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee to Facebook. This is followed by making your computer go to full screen and leave you wondering how the hell she did it and if you can get it back without having to call your husband and sending a search party into the mountains where he is on your 10 year old's three day field trip with the message "Cat jacked up computer. Please help. Stop." Sometimes when a cat does this she is simply saying, "Oh, are you here on my couch?"
Cat's eyes do very strange things. They have that generic cat's eye appearance, rather like a rounded skinny diamond. But you know you're in trouble if these thing get really big, like someone just hit her with some dilation drops. And the tail...it twitches. It can move very slowly and elegantly from side to side but the very end...twitches...ever so slightly. You can see the her body weight begin to shift to her hind legs as she prepares herself. In a fraction of a second, less than the time it takes you to blink, because 99% of the time I've completely missed her actually taking off from her crouching tiger position, she is claws out and on top of your typing fingers. And in another fraction of a second she's gone again.
You listen to try figure out what direction she went in and where the next attack is going to come from. There's a slight rumbling coming from under the couch, her favorite hiding place. Now you're screwed. She's flying her freak flag and she can easily reach your naked ankles should you even so much as flex a muscle. If you let your guard down and just keep typing you will eventually stretch a foot or wiggle your toes. You will inevitably feel the sting of tiny needle-like teeth as she takes on your big toe. And trust me - she's gonna win. I double cross her and pull my legs up under me. Take that, psycho kitty!!
The dogs are trained enough to know that they don't jump up on the table or get all up in your grill while you're eating dinner. Generally the small one winds in and out of feet looking for a dropped morsel. The big one just takes her old self and lays down. The cat, on the other hand, hops up on the table and surveys the buffet before her. It's when she decides to take a walk down the length of the table that the dogs have had enough. The girls think it's hilarious. The small dog tries to jump up onto an empty chair because that's the only way she can even get close to being on the table. The old dog wanders past Emma and actually tries to remove a burger from her very hands! The cat is now trying to get at some french fries. The small dog is working her way onto to the end of the table and the old dog will not take her eyes off the dangling burger from the laughing kid in front of her. Suddenly the guinea pigs start their chorus of carrot-begging chirping because there's just enough commotion to get them going. The cat spies the guinea pigs, abandons her search for french fries, and sets her sights on somehow getting up on that cage. The small dog is one very ballsy jump from being on the table. It appears that a 5 month old kitten has caused me to completely lose control of dinner!
"New rule! No cats on the table!" As if you really need to make that a rule, right? To the person who hasn't owned a cat since she was 5, yes. Yes, you do. There was an eruption of 'awwwww's as I removed the sweet, delightful guinea pig hunter from the table and I really couldn't help but laugh myself. There was just a freakin' cat on the table during dinner!
I thought about it for a while and wondered if she did this at home or if I had just broken my friend's cat. "Yeah, Mom let's me on the table at dinner all the tiiiiiiiiime," she seemed to say. "Oh, ok. Well if that's what your mom let's you do......"
No comments:
Post a Comment