Apparently Kim Kardashian (or one of them...honestly I don't care enough to keep track of who said what) said that she asked her mom for birth control because she intended to have sex with her boyfriend, and she did just that at age 14. I know, I know. Your first thought is 'How could her mom support that!!!!' or "Stupid, nasty Kardashians!" or 'Hollywood!! BLECH!!!!' or my personal favorite "Free love!!!!" Wait...wrong era....
Let's get something straight - I, in no way, want to be in a position where my 14 year old needs birth control. I've got three girls up in here and I don't want to deal with this crap unless it's absolutely necessary. But more than that I don't want to be a grandmother before my time.
So when is it absolutely necessary?
When your daughter asks for it.
Make no mistake - I'd love to have three blissful virgins until the day when my husband hands them over to their betrothed, in a ceremony we like to call a wedding. I also know it's 2012, and I certainly didn't walk down that aisle an 'unknown' woman (sorry Mom and Dad - true fact). What I want is for them to have enough respect for themselves and enough faith in the person that they chose to make adult decisions. Fact is, kids make adult decisions before they're legally adults or biologically adults anyway. So why is this any different?
According to Dr. Phil, a man I hold near and dear to my psychiatric heart, says the human brain doesn't reach maturity until 25. And the last part to reach maturity is the very part that dictates the common sense part of the brain. The part that says 'Hey, dumbass - you can't drive after ten shots!' or 'You might should wrap a condom around that lessen you want a little part to deal with'.
Twenty-five.
I'm currently 39 and I know that every move I make, every smile I fake, my mom is watching me. I also know that at 39 I'm WAY wiser than 25. I can only imagine what my brain size will be at 65. It'll be positively creepy. Downright Phineas and Ferb with a brain ray. Smarter? No. Wiser? Yes.
Here's the thing, folks - wise only comes with EXPERIENCE. Not with AGE. If you're dumb as a rock and you spend your life with rocks, at 103 you'll still be as dumb as a rock. Sad, but true facts.
I have learned enough in my time to let my girls make their own decisions, to guide them as I see fit, and to support them indefinitely. Even if they're making the wrong choice, my job is to advise and step back. As painful as it is - my job is to support, to advice, to listen, and to protect.
PROTECT.
Some may see this word as endless hovering so they keep their children from having sex before their wedding night. I see it as supporting their decisions, listening to their feelings (because as I'm sure you will all remember - TEENAGE FEELINGS are real, hard, new, intense, and impossible to sort out) and being there when they decide (at ANY age) that they think they're ready for sex, and supplying them with not only the support and knowledge that they need, but the medicinal help that will protect them.
Do not be foolish parents. You were once a teenager. As Spock said in Wrath of Kahn...... REMEMBER.
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